Stop Joysticking: Let the Kids Play

I’ve seen it again and again—coaches on the sidelines shouting nonstop directions at kids as they play. “Pass it!” “Go wide!” “Shoot!” “Get back!” I can fall into that trap myself.

I call it joysticking: trying to control every move like they’re playing FIFA on Xbox.

Joysticking hurts players. It stops them from thinking for themselves. It teaches them to look to the sideline for answers instead of reading the game. It creates hesitation. And it adds pressure in moments when they need calm. The constant noise makes it harder to focus, harder to learn, and harder to have fun.

Youth soccer should be about developing players who understand the game, not just follow orders. That means they need space to make decisions, even if they mess up. Especially if they mess up. Mistakes are how players learn to scan, adjust, and improve. When adults call out every action from the sideline, we take away that learning process.

This is another area that’s especially important to think about when coaching girls soccer. Girls are often taught to be polite, obedient, and coachable above all else. But we don’t need players who follow every command. We need players who see the game, who problem-solve, who think independently, and who take ownership of their decisions.

So what should we as coaches (and parents) do instead?

Let them figure things out. Sometimes I will point out an alternative play or give feedback after a specific play is over. This might sound like “Nice work! Next time, I wonder if you can see if a pass to switch fields is available?” or “Good effort! What else could you have tried there?” Use practice to teach and the game to observe. Encourage risk, creativity, and autonomy. Celebrate when they try something brave, not just when they do something “correct.”